“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it, and embrace them”
—Rumi

This Rumi quote speaks powerfully to the essence of how I approach the task of psychotherapy. To varying degrees, we have all had to build barriers within ourselves to help shield us from harm in the context of less than ideal family and social environments. These barriers have served the vital purpose of keeping us feeling safe enough to live and grow, and in many instances have been essential to our survival.

While we must honor these barriers for helping to protect us, at some point we may also need to become aware of the ways that they are blocking us from feeling love for ourselves, others, and even life itself. The barriers to love may take the form of harsh self-criticism, anxiety, perfectionism, addictive processes, chronic dissatisfaction, or feelings of unworthiness (to name a few). Despite our longing to feel authentically alive and to love more freely, we often find ourselves trapped in patterns that keep our lives small.

It might seem like the task of therapy is to dismantle the barriers so we can find more freedom in our lives. However, Rumi helpfully points out that instead of trying to rid ourselves of our barriers, we might turn toward ourselves and begin to cultivate the capacity to embrace the wounded parts that our barriers are protecting. This is rarely work that can be done alone, primarily because this type of healing generally requires engaging with others who are able to help bring a compassionate presence to the places inside where we feel distress and vulnerability.

I have seen time and again how the therapeutic relationship can act as a container for our wounded parts to surface, be known, and held with an attitude of tender acceptance. This creates space for new ways of being to emerge that not only reduce suffering, but also help enliven creativity, relationality, and embodied wellbeing. If you are interested in exploring whether we might be a good fit, I invite you to reach out so we can schedule a time to talk.